Well the log is not going to happen, when I originally thought this was all going to be log, BUT I accidentally pushed the back button and lost it all, and I'm not sure if there is a way to get it back. It was right when I was getting to the last of logging too. So i have to keep the flow and just continue with the journal entry.
I have been reading Leadership Education: the phases of learning by Oliver and Rachel Demille. It keeps me going and on track with the bigger picture for m family. it reminds me how important these beginning years are in our children's lives and what an effect it can have on their entire lifespan. I have been able to place in my mind the conflict I was having of being enrolled in a Homeschooling charter school and needing to meet the standards there and trying to follow the leadership phases in which the children are to be nurtured and loved, and gain a love of learning for the first 12 years through reading classics and such, well the more reading i do the more I realize that the standards are what I am exposing my children to and the method is patterned after the Leadership education ( at least for now I feel this is the right thing to do for my family). once I placed this I feel much better and can accept the fact that we need to cover this material. I realize another thing, about myself that this is all about planning and knowledge Knowledge gives me power and planning confidence. I seem to be feeling more and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I feel immense joy and other times sorrow that cold match the joy ,but on the opposite end of the spectrum. I felt before, but events and 'moments' when I stop to watch my child or cherish the moment, it seem to bring a tear right away.
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